Archive for April, 2007

porn: good or bad? the simple answer is, it’s not so simple

Monday, April 30th, 2007

Why, oh why, do I end up being the staunch defender of porn? I don’t even like the stuff most of the time. And yet here I am, like an insistent mosquito in your ear, saying once again that naked people fucking on camera is not inherently a microcosm of every bad thing the patriarchy has ever done.

OK, so we start by referring you to a recent anti-porn post on I Blame the Patriarchy, a blog whose title I can definitely get behind. The problem is that while I do definitely blame the patriarchy for a whole frickin’ lot, and while I don’t in any way wish to minimize its effect on women and the world at large, I also don’t think it’s so all-powerful that it removes all options for free choice. That’s just attributing way too much power to it - and the patriarchy is intent on claiming as much as it can in the first place, so let’s not give it the rest on a bloody silver platter.

I patently refuse to believe that I live in a world where my agency, consciousness and desires are entirely dismissed in favour of bowing down to the god that is patriarchy. And it bugs the shit out of me when other feminists want me to do that. Talk about sleeping with the enemy! I just don’t buy it when otherwise articulate, engaged and intelligent feminists stand up for the idea that they themselves can’t be making free choices - particularly sexual choices, but I don’t see how you can draw a line in the sand to separate those ones from all the rest - because those choices are all so deeply dictated by the very patriarchy that feminists otherwise seem to be capable of actively critiquing. What the fuck kind of feminism is that? It plays right into the hands of the people who really do want women to be nothing other than two boobs and a few fuckable holes. Crikey.

There’s another element of frustrating complicity that’s also endemic in this kind of thinking, and that’s when feminists tar all porn with the same man-on-top-of-woman brush. Statements like this one boggle my mind: "Porn — gay, straight, bi, live-action, animated, or ‘feminist’ — is the graphic representation of the oppression of the sex class. Until the sex class is liberated from male oppression, porn can be nothing else, no matter how many fun feminists claim it empowerfuls them."

(On a side note, I really do hope that IBIOTP has invented the word "empowerfuls" on purpose, because I’m gonna have a hard time taking her seriously at all if it’s not ironic and she really does have that poor a command of the English language.)

So let me get this straight, so to speak: gay porn is oppressive to women because it’s a graphic representation of the oppression of the sex class? Hmmm. Last time I checked, man-dick up man-ass didn’t have all that much to do with women, the so-called "sex class."

How about lesbian porn? (Note that IBIOTP has not mentioned lesbian porn specifically; perhaps she is conflating it with gay porn. Never mind the whole penis thing.) Oh, yes, I forgot, we clueless apolitical dykes have so deeply internalized patriarchal values that now we’re oppressing each other. In small underground independent DIY collectives of avant-garde radical sexual art-makers with little or no commercial financial backing, of course. But never mind the incongruities there; clearly the patriarchal values are still strong enough to completely invalidate our made-for-us-and-by-us erotic entertainment. Gosh, it’s too bad, we were enjoying it until the reify-the-patriarchy’s-power people came along and pooh-poohed our (highly politicized) fun.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the systems that produce most heterosexual commercial porn are pretty heinous, and some of the women in those porn movies may very well be there through some process that doesn’t involve them having a lot of agency and choice. Porn is not always empowering for the participants, and it’s produced in a consumerist system within a racist, sexist world, and it’s certainly not always consumed by people with a politically appealing agenda. But then again, there’s not always a ton of empowerment in, say, working at McDonald’s for seven dollars an hour, or even for that matter working as a cog in the corporate-office wheel.

We could debate ad nauseam the relative merits of various sorts of employment and the empowerment and agency that come with them, but my point is simple: I don’t think it’s accurate, useful or politically astute to equate, say, a drug-addicted 19-year-old who’s in service to a threatening porn producer, with someone like Montreal’s independent amateur-porn star Seska, who has built her own little private porn enterprise with her husband and whose website features well-researched essays on various sexuality-related topics as well as statements about her personal politics on subjects as diverse as veganism and polyamory. I mean, really - any analytically-minded person, feminist or no, should be able to see that there’s a wide range of circumstances that may lead a woman (or a man, or a trans person) into the world of porn, and a wide range of experiences once a person gets there.

And that’s what, in the end, bugs me the most about the tired old feminist argument against porn. It oversimplifies what is in fact a very complex phenomenon involving multiple influences from all areas of the political spectrum, of which patriarchy is only one. Anytime we rely on black-and-white, binary-minded defenses, we’re obliterating reality, which is never that conveniently simple. As a feminist, I want to actually think about things, analyze them, pick at the nuances until I truly understand - not that I think understanding is a finite goal in the first place. And I resent it when people of any stripe try to dismiss that entire process in favour of a by-rote, inflexible answer. As a feminist, I declare that just isn’t good enough for me.

cinékink sunday, may 6 - night porter

Saturday, April 28th, 2007

Welcome to the May edition of CinéKink, Montreal’s kinky film and discussion series!

What? “Night Porter”
Directed by Liliana Cavani, 1974
Starring Charlotte Rampling and Dirk Bogarde

Film synopsis: Liliana Cavani’s controversial film featured a breakout performance by the American actress Charlotte Rampling in this Italian tour de force. Thirteen years after World War II, while working as a night porter in a Vienna hotel occupied by ex-Nazis, a former SS concentration camp officer, played by Dirk Bogarde, is astonished when a past victim-lover (Rampling), checks into the hotel with her husband. Despite the horrific nature of their former "relationship"—glimpsed in flashbacks of rape, torture and humiliation—their sadomasochistic sexual bond is soon rekindled. Eventually, the SS wants to eliminate the woman, as she is a witness to war crimes. “The Night Porter” is not only an operatic and disturbing cult film that deftly examines the cruelty and decadence of Nazi culture, but an unconventional love story. Based on writer-director Liliana Cavani’s interviews with an actual concentration camp survivor, “The Night Porter” is one of the more controversial films of the 1970s, examining aspects of human interaction few works dare to touch.

When? Sunday, May 6. Doors open at 6:00 p.m., screening starts at 6:30. There will be a short break followed by a discussion for up to 90 minutes.

Where? The Secret Playground at 1410 Wolfe St, Suite 301, corner of Ste-Catherine E., near metro Beaudry (http://attitudes.cc/Eng/events.htm#spintro). No food is provided, but feel free to bring your own; there are numerous restaurants and dépanneurs nearby and the kitchen is available for use.

How much? We ask for a $5 contribution to cover the costs of space rental, equipment and movie acquisition. This is a not-for-profit event.

About CinéKink: The CinéKink film and discussion series aims to be challenging and stimulating to all - from staunchly vanilla to total SM newbie to seasoned kinkster! Every first Sunday of the month, we screen an SM-related film. Each screening is followed by a one-hour discussion facilitated by local kinky sex geeks Andrea Zanin and Mylène St Pierre. People of all backgrounds, genders and persuasions are welcome. Come for the cheap flicks, stay for the quality conversation!

random queer things to enjoy amid rain, repairs and taxes

Friday, April 27th, 2007

It’s Friday night. It almost feels like spring, which would be great if it weren’t so rainy. Happily, the weekend promises to be a full one - kicking off with a day of trans-related workshops at the Trans Day of Pride. ‘Cause, y’know, what better way to recover from a weekend of workshops in Minneapolis than by plunging into a full day of workshops in Montreal?

I’ve got a couple of random interesting things for ya today, before I sign off and head out for a night on the town… or at least, an evening on the town before I come back home and work on my taxes. (Bitch, moan, complain…)

First of all, tonight, there’s supposed to be a piece on TV at 10:00 on ABC’s 20/20 about transsexuality in young children. As a committed non-television-watcher (with a broken DVD player to boot - I guess my, uh, work on last week’s dyke porn review wore it out), I will not be taking it in, but if anyone watches it, let me know if it’s any good, ya? Mainstream news seems to alternately butcher and glorify trans issues, so it’s never sure what tack they’ll take.

On another note - random, I warned you! - My friend C, a lawyerly type, sent me the following notice. I’m more well-connected in the realm of baristas (yay for five-dollar hot chocolates!) than in that of barristers, but perhaps you know a hotshot queer lawyer who’s fighting the good fight… in which case, nominate away!

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SOGIC Hero and Ally Awards – Call for Nominations

SOGIC, the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Conference of the Canadian Bar Association, is seeking nominations for this year’s Hero and Ally Awards. The SOGIC awards are designed to recognize excellence within the Canadian legal profession in advancing the cause of equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and two-spirited (LGBT) people. This year the Hero Award will be presented to a male recipient and the Ally Award to a female recipient. Nominations close May 15.  Awards will be presented on August 14th at the CLC Touchstone Reception in Calgary. Award details here.

***

I’m off to brave the rain, procrastinate on my taxes, and drop my DVD player off at the shop on the way to my usual(-ish) Friday night stomping grounds, le Village gai.

Really, I’m not nearly as grumpy as this post makes me sound. I swear. See, I’ll prove it: clothing makes me happy, and tonight I will be wearing my latest gratuitous purchase - a new tie, added to the already excessive collection that seems to grow every time I go through an airport with an hour to kill. I’m grinning already. La vie est belle!

crushing on the kings

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

Okay, so here’s where I drop all semblance of dignity and admit to raving, slavering, obsessive fandom. Regarding what, you ask?

Drag kings.

Oh gods. They’re slick. They’re sexy. They get up on stage in suits and ties and they do any number of things that on their own might not necessarily be the be-all and end-all of modern entertainment, but when a hot girl dresses up like a hot guy to do them, something hits me in the lizard brain and I get that spiral-eyed hypnotized thing goin’ on, and I scream like an Elvis fan and very nearly wet myself with delight at every coordinated hip thrust and practiced grin.

Mambo_drag_kingsBlame it on the Mambo Drag Kings. They took my drag king virginity (quite oblivious to my existence, of course) at the very first Le Boudoir I ever attended, which would have been… oh… back in 2000 or 2001, I suppose. I don’t remember what they did on stage, exactly; I don’t even quite remember their outfits. I just remember that it finally occurred to me to breathe again when they took their final bow, and they’ve held me in a sort of breathless fascination ever since.

Yeah, I managed to miss the famous kd lang cover of Kd_lang_shavedVanity Fair (August 1993), but I since then I’ve more than made up for that by eating up every single instance of gals in drag I could get my hot little hands on, starting with a lasting crush on the entire MDK that to this day has never quite been equalled by any others, despite my happy experiences with such wonders as…

- Flare of the Scandelles (who once confessed to me, while in full Flare_claredrag, that s/he found nothing hotter than a hard cock in lace panties - good lord, but that’s some deeply queer desire!)…

- Deb Dirk Pearce, Deb_dirk_pearcealso a Scandelle, who sings like an angel and is just so damned sweet’n'charming I want to bring him home and introduce him to my parents (and that, folks, is saying something - though I might ask him to lose his three topless companions first)…

- Christopher Noel, who appeared on a Montreal stage stark nekkid Christoper_noelonce - an experience which, despite all very visible evidence to the contrary, did not prevent me from seeing him as a guy…

Ivan_aycock_im_your_man - Ivan Aycock, the drag king character from season 1 of The L Word, who was jaw-droppingly sexy and single-handedly caused me to develop a minor fetish for Leonard Cohen’s tune "I’m Your Man"…

- and numerous other hot kings in various places over the years.

The latest intalment in my obsessive fandom, though, was when the Mirror agreed to let me do a piece this week - a full page, no less! - on the meteoric rise of Montreal’s latest drag king troupe, King Size. They’re performing a free show this Saturday at Café Cleopatra (1230 St-Laurent) in honour of the Trans Day of Pride, and you can bet your ass I’ll be in the front row. Woo-hoo!

Now, the fan thing is a little different for me with these guys. One of the King Size members is an ex of mine; several others are friends and acquaintances. Somehow, having met them and gotten to know them out of drag, they don’t have quite the same mystical aura as the kings I first saw en homme on stage. But am I any less a fan? Not at all. It’s just a particular sort of fandom. Rather than a must-tear-their-clothes-off kind of thing (or maybe leave-them-on-for-the-thrill-of-it-and-make-out-with-them-anyway), it’s more like a conceptual fandom, and a personal/friendly/supportive fandom, where I’m completely stoked at how they’re taking Montreal by storm and thrilled to bits every time I see them don their gear and hit the stage.

Among other things, I read in nouveau*queer that they performed at Mado_the_king Mado not long ago… I am so disappointed I missed it! Picture it: Mado and her drag queens dressed up as drag kings for the occasion. How mind-boggling is that? According to n*q, "Mado explained to the audience the drag gender-fuck that was about to take place: gay men dressed as straight women dressed as lesbians dressed as drag kings… who then dressed as gay men!" Oh my goodness. My genderfuckloving lizard brain is totally overheating. I’m so brokenhearted I wasn’t there to see it. (Thanks to n*q, from whom I pilfered this photo.)

Gary Dickinson, King Size frontman extraordinaire, tells me that King Size is hoping to get to Vancouver this fall for the International Drag KingCommunity Extravaganza, or IDKE (which is almost, but not quite, as unpronounceable as LGBT). The last IDKE was in Austin, Texas; I don’t know if it’s ever happened in Canada before. But hoo boy, you can bet your butt I’m hoping to get there… I’ll be high for weeks!

Now, all of that being said about my more "friendly" fandom with Lbhregard to King Size… still, I must say, Billy King’s awful cute when he wears his pinstriped shirt and fedora. What can I say, I like classy guys. And Little Bighorn… oh, the arms… yum.

Oh, all right, so the Mambo Drag Kings stole my heart years ago, but maybe I have a crush on King Size too. Just a little one.

five painfully stupid illustrations of why sometimes women-only kink space can be such a bloody relief

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

…a post inspired by a recent thread on a BDSM list about the dumb things one has heard about sexuality and kink.

***

Once I was standing in a fetish club with six or seven women, most of them groping each other in one fashion or another. A man came up to me and said incredulously, "Are you LESBIANS?!" (Lesbians! Where? Where?)

Another time I had just finished doing a hard-core punching scene with a very masochistic girl. I had taken her down from her restraints and she was panting in a little heap on the floor, covered in bruises and sweat. A guy walked into the room and saw me petting her as she recovered, and said, "That’s what I like about watching women play. It’s always so sweet and gentle and sensual." (Gentle, yes, yessss. Gentle. Please, come a bit closer and say that again…)

And then there was the time I’d just finished enjoying the most mind-blowing cocksucking session I’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing. It was at a large public party where on-duty cops were welcome to patrol, and a couple of them were present and watching. (Yeah, that was kinda hot.) I lost track after come no. 12 or so. When my raw-throated bottom had finally wrung from me the last one I could possibly squeeze out, I staggered to my feet and leaned on her for support as we left the room. When we passed by the cops, one of them said, "Pardon me… but were those real orgasms, or are you just a really good actress?" (Y’know, ‘cause really, I would spend half an hour faking multiple orgasms in public for their benefit. Just because that’s what you’re used to at home, buddy…)

Not long ago I was at a fetish event with two slim androgynous bois, one of them Korean and wearing a tank top and pants, the other white and wearing a vest and assless chaps. I’m rather curvy, four inches taller than them, and I was in a corset, skirt and high boots with dark lipstick. A man passed by and said, "It’s so sweet how you all look the same, like you’re a brotherhood or something." (Ahh, yes, of course. Brothers. Because I was feeling really brother-like that day. It would appear that short hair trumps all other signifiers, including race and boob display.)

A male submissive I spoke with once told me how he used to hang out at the entrance of lesbian nightclubs and ask if he could lick the women’s feet. “I just don’t understand why they all seemed so offended,” he said wistfully. (Gee, I don’t know either. Maybe because you’re a creepy guy wanting to get your rocks off on lesbians, on their turf to boot?)

Oh, I could go on. These are just the first ones that came to mind. Not that I don’t enjoy my forays into the pansexual scene… really, there are tons of great people there. But sometimes one just doesn’t want to deal with the potential hassle of being accosted by the complete idiots who are randomly mixed in with the nice ones.

doing it for…

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

In the last week, I’ve been in four airports, and passed three security checkpoints (so far), and still nobody’s strip-searched me. What’s the point of travelling if you don’t get the perks? Yeesh. Well, I can always cross my fingers there’ll be a cute dyke at Canadian Customs when I get back to Montreal in a couple of hours.

I don’t understand how it is I manage to come off as sweet and innocent even with twelve piercings, a leather jacket, a ticket to a BDSM conference and a bag stuffed with sex toys, SM paraphernilia and porn. Well, I wouldn’t call it porn, but Pat (now Patrick of course) Califia is renowned for being the author whose work has been most frequently seized at the border, and I imagine his classic work Doing It for Daddy - now happily nestled in my luggage next to the jointed flogger and the butt-plugs - would be pretty high on the list of titles likely to upset a border guard.

Oh, OK, I know it would be no picnic to actually get caught. But I can’t help thinking somehow I’m just not bad-ass enough.

groping is the new networking

Sunday, April 22nd, 2007

Well, the Leather Leadership Conference is over. It’s been wonderful - thought-provoking and fun, with great speakers, excellent food (!) and many opportunities to network with totally cool people from all over the place.

Not to mention the great discussions about the interesting challenges people face when running kinky groups. I mean, where else am I going to find myself in an organizational management workshop doing a pair exercise with a guy who runs a 1500-member SM group in D.C., discussing the following assigned problem: "You each manage an SM organization, and your groups want to hold a joint play party. One group has a strict no-sex policy for their parties because attendance requires nothing beyond an entrance fee; the other has a strongly sex-oriented play culture because their parties are private members-only affairs. Discuss up to three strategies for managing this potential conflict." Not exactly your standard organizational leadership conference. The funny thing is that, if we laid aside the 2,000-mile distance, the national border-crossing issue and the fact that my organization is only for women and his is mixed-gender, it’s not really a stretch to be discussing it - it’s entirely possible that either one of us might encounter such an issue.

Another reason I love this kind of conference can easily be summed up by a two-minute exchange that took place about ten minutes ago in the elevator. The bulk of the attendees cleared out this afternoon once the workshops were over, but Pepper and I are staying a little longer to hang out together. We were just coming back to the hotel after eating dinner witih friends. We pressed the elevator button in the lobby just as a muscular man in a leather vest and cap was walking toward the elevators with a smaller man. The elevator dinged; the big man said to us, "It’s nice to see there are still some freaks around!" by way of hello. Laughter, introductions as the door closed and we punched in our floors. He leered at Pepper, who is (as usual) wearing very short shorts. The exchange went something like this:

Big guy: "So, could those shorts get any shorter?"

Pepper: "Sure, wait!" (grins and shimmies shorts up even higher, exposing another few inches of silky hairless thigh)

Me: "You wanna touch his thigh? Really, they’re like butter. Go ahead and have a stroke." (Yeah, I’m a shameless pimp sometimes. Blame it on my lasting love of man-on-man action.)

Pepper: (keeps on smiling)

Big Man: "Let’s have a look here." (crosses the elevator, gives a cursory stroke of the thigh on his way a lot further up to focus his examination on a rather more intimate region)

Pepper: "Oooh!" (more smiling)

Elevator: Ping!

Big Man: "Oh! Well. This is our floor. Nice meeting you!"

Me: "Have a great night, nice meeting you too!" (smiles all round; elevator door closes)

Pepper: "Shoulda known. The men always go straight for the jewels."

Now really. All conference attendees should be this friendly. I’m firmly (ahem) convinced that gratuitous elevator gropings between community leaders is an excellent networking strategy. Or at the very least, it makes for a memorable conference.

stay outta trouble (so i don’t have to)

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Here are a few things to keep you busy this weekend while I’m off enjoying the company of a bunch of pervert activists in Minneapolis at the 11th annual Leather Leadership Conference, in the fine company of Princess Pepper (formerly known as "my San Francisco honey P," who has now made it entirely clear he’s down with not being anonymous in my blog). I promise I will post tales of kinky adventures (well, a few titillating and name-free details, at least) and activist “aha!” moments when I get back, or maybe while I’m there if I’m not too busy.

Hmm. On second thought, it’ll pretty much definitely be when I get back.

Summary: a book launch about Muslim women and war, faith and sexuality … long live King Size … bondage makes Australian guys happy … Iranian queers go international.

Have fun! I certainly plan to.

***

Voices of Resistance: Muslim Women on War, Faith, & Sexuality Montreal Launch

Saturday April 21st, 7pm
York Amphitheatre (EV 1.615), Concordia University, 1515 St. Catherine St. West.

Wheelchair Accessible – Free ASL interpretation & Childcare available with 48hr advance request

With readings and discussion by contributors, Shadi Eskandani and Nuzhat Abbas, followed by a book signing.

Edited by Sarah Husain, Voices of Resistance is a groundbreaking collection that explodes current contentions about Muslim identity, gender, war, and citizenship. Muslims—literally, "people of the book"—must seek knowledge wherever and however they can. As the prophet Mohammed sat in a cave of Mount Hira, the first command he received from the angel Gabriel was "Iqra!—Read!" The Quran instructs that obtaining knowledge is integral to one’s spiritual practices.

Hailing from Yemen, Iran, Palestine, Afghanistan,Kashmir, Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Malaysia, Thailand, China, Canada, and the United States, the contributors to Voices of Resistance also insist on a politics and spirituality that command knowledge that is fluid, contextually engaged, and dynamic. And in their pursuit, they are sharing wisdom of their own. They engage in conversation concerning their bodies and their communities and share compelling stories: a woman mourns the death of a cousin killed in a suicide bombing; a transsexual man remembers with fondness the donning of the veil he no longer wears; a woman confronts sexism and hypocrisy on a pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia; several experience being judged on the basis of skin color and political and religious affiliation that is far more blatant and ubiquitous since the September 11 attacks.

This event is co-presented by QPIRG (Concordia & McGill), the 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy, the Concordia Co-op Bookstore, and the Simone de Beauvoir Institute.

For more information, or to request ASL or Childcare (up to 48 hrs prior) for the event, contact the: 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy, 2110 Mackay (metro Guy-Concordia) tel: 514-848-2424 ext. 7431

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Find out what local hotties King Size are up to by checking out their new website. (I have independently verified information confirming that at least one of said hotties is indeed king-sized. Ahem.) There’s a show coming up on April 28 that you definitely don’t want to miss, in which they’re performing with guests, Montreal’s revered Mambo Drag Kings. More info on that soon!

***

Read up on how bondage makes Australian men happy. Well, some of them at least. A great little excerpt from the article: “[Men] into BDSM scored significantly better on a scale of psychological wellbeing than other men. ‘This seems to imply that these men are actually happier as a result of their behaviour, though we’re not sure why,’ [Dr. Richter] said. ‘It might just be that they’re more in harmony with themselves because they’re into something unusual and are comfortable with that. There’s a lot to be said for accepting who you are.’ At the other end of the spectrum – least happy – were men who reported being attracted to men but had never acted on their desire and didn’t regard themselves as gay. Researchers said the study helps break down the reigning stereotype that people into bondage and discipline were damaged as children and were therefore ‘dysfunctional’.”

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Find out more about an international Iranian queer organization whose newsletter editor lives in Canada. I wish the article had a date on it, but whatevah, it’s still really interesting.

***

And those are my recommendations for you. In the meantime, I’ll be off fighting the good fight. Or something like that.

an incomplete timeline of sexual diversity - part 5 (the final entries)

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Here’s the last (ever-incomplete) instalment in the timeline, this time with a fair degree of focus on Canada, Quebec and Montreal. Next step: I’m going to seriously put some thought into creating a trans timeline. This will make for an interesting project! In the meantime, I give you the 1990s and the turn of the millennium.

1993 Anne Fausto-Sterling published an article entitled "The Five Sexes: Why Male and Female Are Not Enough." Her later work discusses over 42 known intersex conditions, from hormonal to DNA to physical/genital. The Intersex Society of North America was founded that same year. ISNA is devoted to systemic change to end shame, secrecy, and unwanted genital surgeries for people born with an anatomy that someone decided is not standard for male or female. They maintain that intersexuality is primarily a problem of stigma and trauma, not gender, and that parents’ distress must not be treated by surgery on the child.

1997 Pat Califia published Sex Changes: Transgender Politics, a seminal book in trans history and gender theory. Two years later, he announced he was transsexual and is now known as Patrick.

1998 Concordia’s Sexuality Minor was founded on October 9. According to the press release, “In less than 10 years, work in the field of queer studies has become highly sophisticated, and attracted academic attention that in many cases has evolved into a broader exploration of sexuality. Concordia officially launched its new interdisciplinary minor in sexuality, at the start of a three-day conference that was called Sex on the Edge and was organized by Cinema Professor Thomas Waugh and Communications Professor Chantal Nadeau.” The burgeoning field of interdisciplinary sexuality studies is in some ways an offshoot, in some was an opposition, in some ways a complement to women’s studies; the Sexuality Minor program includes a number of courses given at the Simone de Beauvoir Institute.

2002 Civil unions were legalized in Quebec. The National Assembly of Quebec voted unanimously to create a status of civil union, available to both opposite-sex and same-sex couples and largely having the same rights as marriage, by modifying the Civil Code of Quebec. The law was enacted on June 24, 2002. The idea of a civil union, considered separate but almost equal to marriage, was not good enough for Michael Hendricks.

2004 Same-sex marriage was legalized in Quebec. On March 19, the Quebec Court of Appeals ruled similarly to Ontario and B.C. courts, upholding Hendricks and Leboeuf v. Quebec and ordering that it take effect immediately. The couple who brought the suit, Michael Hendricks and René Leboeuf, immediately sought a marriage licence; they were wed on April 1 at the Palais de justice de Montreal.

2005 Same-sex marriage was legalized across Canada by the Civil Marriage Act enacted on July 20. Court decisions, starting in 2003, had already legalized same-sex marriage in eight out of ten provinces and one of three territories, whose residents comprised about 90% of Canada’s population. Before passage of the Act, more than 3,000 same-sex couples had already married in these areas. Most legal benefits commonly associated with marriage had been extended to cohabiting same-sex couples since 1999.

2005 STELLA, Montreal’s major sex-workers’ rights association, hosted a historic international sex workers’ rights conference in Montreal aiming to help create strategy around legal policy affecting sex workers’ rights to practice their chosen career. The group was supported by… Michael Hendricks.

2006 The first World OutGames were held in Montreal, bringing 16,000+ people to our city for sporting events, cultural events and a human rights conference. On the bright side, thousands of people were brought together in a never-before-seen gathering of the international queer community. However… the Games ousted sex workers from their usual territory in order to use the space for their events, attracting criticism from STELLA; the events were so expensive that they attracted a majority of gay men, less than 50% women, and only 150 or so trans people; the three-day human rights conference included only one workshop on the topic of bisexuality and three on the topic of transsexuality, and was far too expensive for many grassroots human rights activists to attend; and the Canadian government barred a number of HIV-positive people from entering the country to take part in the Games.

***

Though there have been a few mild shifts toward respectability among the middle tier (monogamous gay couples) and additions of new categories at the bottom tier (HIV-positive people, intersex folks) Gayle Rubin’s pyramid of acceptable sexuality still stands…

abuse among the kinky - p.s.

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Just in case anyone reading this is considering #1 on the list of 10 things to do, I figured I’d post this little p.s. if you’re feeling twitchy about the safeword question.

I checked through the works cited at the bottom of the Network/La Red document I linked to in my last post, and found a couple from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), a US-based legal support group for kinksters and other alternative-sexuality folks. Interestingly, and happily, the NCSF documents do not insist on safewords… and they were adopted in 1998 (after that year’s Leather Leadership Conference), so clearly even then some people must have seen the problem with an excessive focus on safewords.

In the document "What Is S/M," chapter 3 - "SM Is Not Domestic Violence," there is no mention of safewords at all, just a general explanation about the distinctions.

In the document "S/M vs Abuse," the only time the word "safeword" is mentioned is in the following paragraph about SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual): "Consensual is respecting the limits imposed by each participant at all times. One of the recognized ways to maintain limits is through a "safeword" which ensures that each participant can end his/her participation with a word or gesture." (The "one of" part of course being key.)

However, it must be said that while both of these documents do a great job of explaining the difference between SM and abuse, they are for the most part not intended for potential abuse victims. In their wording it seems pretty clear to me that they’re intended for the general public, lawyers, other people in law enforcement, etc. - i.e. not people who do WIITWD, but people outside it who misunderstand its nature. The exception would be the two series of questions in the "Guidelines" section of the "S/M vs Abuse" document - but even those are a lot more theoretical and heady than practical and concrete, compared to the explanations of abuse situations given by The Network/La Red.

Of course, for all you curious people looking into this for more academic reasons, these links are excellent. But with all that in mind, I still think the Network/La Red document is more appropriate to link to withthe aim of giving newbies a tool to help them assess whether what’s going on in their relationship is OK. It’s way more concrete in its SM-specific examples of actual abuse situations.

Of course, if you’re thinking of putting an anti-abuse link on your SM- or sexuality-oriented website and the safeword thing in the Network/La Red document bugs you a whole lot, I still certainly think it’s better to post the NCSF link(s) than nothing at all.